Well, that was … fun?

As opening performances go, the Pac-12’s debut debacle ranks somewhere between the lead breaking his elbow in the first act and a frog leaping into a soprano’s throat in the grand finale. This wasn’t the Titanic, but that’s just because our icecaps are melting. And the Titanic didn’t do it to itself.

Utah did not just shoot itself in the foot on Saturday in a soul-crushing 29-26 defeat to the Florida Gators in the Swamp, the Utes took out a Gatling gun and annihilated the whole floor. Oregon wasn’t just pasted in a 49-3 loss to Georgia in Atlanta, the Ducks were genuinely embarrassed.

And so was the conference.

Sure, USC looked great and UCLA made up for a bad start and Arizona spoiled San Diego State’s stadium opener, but the losses by the Utes and Ducks don’t just knock out two of the conference’s few playoff contenders.

It spoils the fun.

It feels like we sure learned a lot in one weary Week 1.

Here’s one thing I learned from every Pac-12 team…

Arizona: We were right about the passing game

Many of us who follow the Pac-12 closely saw bright things ahead for a retooled Arizona offense that had a talent infusion topped only by USC. It’s not that other teams did not get talented — perhaps even more talented — players. It’s that Arizona’s roster was so bad last year that any legitimate talent the Wildcats got would make a huge difference.

Well, Jayden de Laura and Jacob Cowing and Tetairoa McMillan sure made a difference on Saturday night in an inspirational 38-20 win over host San Diego State in the first game at Snapdragon Stadium.

De Laura went 22-for-35 for 299 yards with four touchdowns and one interception, three of the scores going to the terrific Cowing and the other going to the young and hungry McMillan. Cowing finished with eight grabs for 152 yards, looking every bit the part of a No. 1 receiver.

Contrasted against San Diego State’s pathetic offensive performance, the Wildcats looked like world-beaters.

Who knows, maybe they are?

Arizona State: Sun Devils rediscover their running game

It wasn’t exactly the most dominating offensive performance they’ve ever turned in, but Arizona State did score 40 on a Northern Arizona team that defeated Arizona last year.

More importantly, the Sun Devils established the run behind quarterback Emory Jones and running backs Xazavian Valladay and Daniyel Ngata. With the loss of stud back Rachaad White, that was priority No. 1 for the offense this year.

Valladay had 116 yards and two scores on 15 carries, Ngata added 60 yards on 10 carries and Jones added 48 yards and two touchdowns.

Cal: Cal better not get caught sleeping

The Bears forgot to set the alarm clock Saturday, totaling minus-15 yards on its first two offensive series and turning the ball over on a Jack Plummer interception on its third drive.

Meanwhile on its second time with the ball, UC Davis marched all over Cal in a 14-play, 53-yard scoring drive to take a 7-0 lead.

Yes, the Bears responded by scoring 34 of the next 40 points. But they’re not always going to play UC Davis. They can’t afford starts like this in the Pac-12.

Colorado: Karl Dorrell really has no answers at quarterback

The Colorado offense was as varied as it was vanilla Saturday in a 38-13 home loss to TCU.

The good: The Buffaloes completed 26-of-41 passes, with completions going to 12 targets.

The bad: The Buffaloes were out-rushed 275-113.

The ugly: Colorado was outscored 31-7 in the second half.

The overall picture: pretty bleak. Neither of Colorado’s quarterbacks, Brendon Lewis or JT Shrout, did much of anything. Shrout won the individual statistical competition, completing 13-of-23 passes for 157 yards and a score.

Oregon: The Ducks don’t have the legs

It was maybe the most scathing quote I’ve ever heard, and it goes like this:

“He’s going to do a really good job at Oregon. He’s relentless. They’ll bounce back from this and he knows we have better players. He’ll never say that, but he knows we’ve got better players.”

In trying to compliment new Oregon head coach — and former Georgia defensive coordinator — Dan Lanning, his former boss Kirby Smart instead took a blowtorch to Duck faithful who hoped it was one day. It wasn’t one day. Oregon is simply that far behind a team like the Bulldogs.

Oregon State: The Beavers might prove the toughest out in the Civil War

Given how well Oregon State did in a convincing 34-17 win over a formidable Boise State team, it’s easy to crown the Beavers as the stiffest competition of the week. Oregon, meanwhile, simply opened with one of the best teams in the nation, and the Ducks failed the test in resounding fashion.

OSU so flummoxed Boise State starting quarterback Hank Bachmeier in its game that he was yanked after throwing his second interception. Meanwhile, the Beavers survived two interceptions themselves — while Oregon did not — and Oregon State suddenly looks like a team to beat.

Stanford: It’s in the bloodlines for EJ Smith

In rushing for just 133 yards last year on 26 carries, EJ Smith didn’t exactly set the world on fire. But the son of Dallas Cowboys legend Emmitt Smith reintroduced the family into the lexicon on Saturday in a 41-10 win over FCS-level Colgate.

Smith carried the ball 11 times for 118 yards and two scores while adding five catches for 37 yards, a much-needed wake-up call to David Shaw that, yes, the ground game exists.

Stanford seemed to have forgotten that in recent years, and while Colgate is no Alabama, Saturday served as a good reminder.

UCLA: The defense is feistier than expected

Much like the Arizona offense desperately needed to add some firepower to the passing game, the Bruins needed to bolster their pass rush. The addition of the Murphy twins from North Texas went a long way toward that, but losing as much production as UCLA did, it was still a question mark as to whether the Bruin defense could actually take a step forward.

And it did, continuing the progress that it made toward the end of last year.

Holding any FBS team to nine first downs, 2-of-16 third-down efficiency and 162 total yards would be a massive performance for any defense. But it is especially meaningful in Bill McGovern’s debut at the helm.

The Bruins brought pressure even with just four pass rushers, and even though they only finished with two sacks, Falcons quarterback Matt McDonald was never comfortable.

That discomfort was a big reason for UCLA’s eight passes defended in the 45-17 win.

USC: The Trojans’ running game is scarier than we thought

One of the biggest question marks heading into the season was how the USC backfield would share the love, not to mention a receiving corps that was also one of the most active destinations in all of college football.

It wasn’t just that USC retooled its backfield, but the magnitude of change. With one of the conference’s most productive running backs coming into town, along with a veteran from Stanford’s once-vaunted running game as well as one of the most dynamic freshmen in the country, how would carries be split?

Turns out, pretty evenly.

Travis Dye, who put up all those yards and scores for Oregon last year, had 5 carries for 20 yards. Austin Jones, who averaged a paltry 3.5 yards for the Cardinal last year, had 48 yards on four carries with two touchdowns. Fabulous freshman Raleek Brown had six carries for 36 yards and a score, and even returning junior Darwin Barlow joined in the fun with five late carries for 16 yards and a score. And of course, leading the way, was QB Caleb Williams, who had 68 yards on six carries.

All told, it was 208 rushing yards on 28 carries for the Trojans.

Utah: The Utes are not as disciplined as we thought

Losing by three points in the Swamp is, on its face, not an unforgivable offense for a Florida opponent. But when you’re the Pac-12 flag-bearer, and you fall in Week 1, yeah, it’s going to leave a mark.

What is unforgivable is the lack of discipline displayed by a team that we thought was beyond the measure of emotion-management.

The Utes bit far too many times against Gators quarterback Anthony Richardson, who was fine through the air but dazzled with his feet to the tune of 11 carries for 106 yards and three scores. Richardson’s second touchdown was the most egregious, a 45-yard scoring scamper with the entire left side of the field wide open.

Worse, returning all-conference first-team selection Cameron Rising — again, someone we thought was above reproach — tossed a game-clinching red-zone interception on a pass that never should’ve been thrown.

Washington: The Huskies have their man

When Michael Penix Jr. didn’t run away with the Washington starting quarterback position until relatively late in training camp, it left many wondering if the Huskies had in fact addressed a big need. After all, we knew what Dylan Morris looked like leading Washington, plus Penix had familiarity with the coaching staff. If he couldn’t run away with the job sooner, maybe we should measure our expectations.

Penix looked like a star Saturday, albeit against Kent State. He finished 26-of-39 passing for 345 yards and four touchdowns, one of the best performances of the day in the Pac-12.

Morris went 3-for-5 for 48 yards.

Washington State: Cougars will be able to dial up the pressure

Michigan State, seven sacks. Michigan, seven sacks. Washington State, seven sacks? One of these things is not like the other.

Only on Saturday, the Cougars did indeed play like a bunch of Midwest maulers. Against an overmatched Idaho offensive line, the Cougars piled it on thick.

Wazzu finished with 12 tackles for loss to go along with the seven sacks, three TFLs coming from Daiyan Henley alone.

It was a big showing, especially with the offense underwhelming in the 24-17 win.