With some reporting that the Pac-12 and ESPN are not in discussion and that a deal between the conference and the media giant seems unlikely, and others contending that the fat lady has not indeed sung, things nonetheless are appearing grim at the moment for our beloved conference out west.

But great news, Pac-12 fans. There are plenty of fish in the sea! Who needs ESPN when you’ve got (checks notes) … ION Television? The CW Network? Don’t laugh now — those are two of the potential Pac-12 destinations being bandied about, no matter how silly.

Why stop there? Broadcast and cable television offer dozens of potential landing spots for the Pac-12. It’s time for optimism and big ideas, and I’m nothing if not an ideas guy.

Here are some of my preferred viewing options, with some potential choice programming …

A&E — Duck Dynasty, starring Dan Lanning

“Join Dan Lanning, Will Stein and Bo Nix as they try to lead Oregon to a new era of success. Plus, funny hats.”

ABC — Scandal, starring Larry Scott

“Intrigue. Insolence. Ineptitude. Discover the turmoil one solitary oaf wrought for an entire conference.”

BBC America — Doctor Who?, starring Sam Jackson IV and Ari Patu

“An inside look at the quarterback battles taking place at Stanford and Cal.”

Bravo — The Real Housewives of Pullman

“The tawdry ladies of Pullman head out for a night on the town, only to discover there is no such thing as a night out on the town in Pullman.”

CBS — Blue Bloods, starring no one

*Sorry, this show isn’t available in this coverage area. Try Alabama, Michigan or Georgia.

Cinemax — #Pac12AfterDark … After Dark

“In this sensual program that tests the boundaries of decency, watch Cal take on Arizona State in a 42-38 slugfest determined by a punt block returned for touchdown. Also, Justin Wilcox is shirtless.”

CNBC — Mad Money with Caleb Williams

“Learn how the next multi-million dollar quarterback plans to invest his new-found wealth.”

Comedy Central — Key and Peele

“D’Glester Hardunkichud and Jackmerius Tacktheretrix discover they still have eligibility, and both transfer to Colorado.”

Discovery Channel — Deadliest Catch, starring the Washington receiver corps

“Can the best trio of wide receivers in college football share one ball?”

Disney — The Goof Troop, starring Mark “Mad Dog” Madsen

“An inside look at the Cal men’s basketball team.”

E! — Dr. 90210, featuring Alex Grinch

“In this episode, the USC defense gets a much-needed facelift.”

Food Network — Chopped, starring Deion Sanders

“Watch as Coach Prime takes a buzzsaw to the Colorado roster. Plus, soufflés.”

Fox — Party of Five, starring the Pac-12’s remaining teams

“Neve Campbell stars as an Oregon State football fan wondering where all the other teams went.”

HGTV — Fixer-Upper, starring Kenny Dillingham

“After being neglected and forsaken, it’s a brand new day for the Arizona State football team, as its new head coach puts on the gloves for one massive clean-up job.”

Lifetime — Big Men, Big Love

“From the makers of Big Women, Big Love, comes this delightful spin-off, as the Pac-12’s most eligible offensive linemen try to find love on and off the field. It’s The Whale meets The Bachelor.”

MTV — Beavis and Butthead, starring Mark Shuken and Brent Willman

“Can the two disgraced Pac-12 executives come up with $50 million owed to Comcast for overpayments?”

NBC — Miami Vice 2023: Welcome to Westwood

“In the action-packed reboot, former UCLA quarterback Don Johnson returns to his old stomping grounds to stop a Mexican drug cartel from taking hold of Pauley Pavilion. Philip Michael Thomas still co-stars.”

Nickelodeon — Rocko’s Modern Life, voiced by Luke Dunne

“The lovable Australian wallaby finds his way to Eugene to punt for the Ducks.”

PBS — This Old House, starring Husky Stadium

“The rickety bones of the oldest stadium in the Pac-12 get an upgrade.”

The CW — The Flash, starring Jacob Cowing

“The Arizona speedster must contend with Eobard Thawne, Cicada and handsy cornerbacks.”

TNT — The Closer, starring Lincoln Riley

“The USC head coach travels the southland looking for the best players in the high school ranks.”

Travel Channel — Parts Unknown, with Andrew Vorhees

“The former USC offensive lineman with the voracious appetite takes on a trip of the tongue throughout Los Angeles and the world.”

Turner Classic Movies — Any silent film, starring Chip Kelly

“The coach who does not love to talk mimes his way out of trouble.”

VH1 — I Love the ’80s, hosted by John Elway

“The best quarterback of the 1980s takes you back to the ’80s, with a particular focus on the wacky styles that defined the decade. Get a load of Chuck Cecil’s hair!”