‘Twas the night before Christmas, and and all through the west,
Half the Pac-12 was hurting, and the rest beat their chest,
The ones on the bottom have been there for years,
The ones on the top, gaining all the cheers.

Stanford and Cal, the teams in the Bay, home of the best clam chowder,
Losses stacked up on top of losses, legacies quickly turning to powder.
And in Arizona, the Cats and the Devils, a Grand Canyon below the best,
But hope in the form of Fisch and Dilly, can they be better than the rest?

And then there’s Colorado, down on its luck, and has been for some time,
So what do they do? They go out, and hire themselves Coach Prime.
Can Deion be Neon and bring some shine to Boulder?
Or will the Buffaloes continue to give the league a cold shoulder?

Oregon State and Oregon, Washington, USC,
UCLA, Wazzu and Utah, now those are the teams to be.
The top of the league gone bowling, the postseason bringing its own set of fun,
Which of the bowl games will be lost, and which ones will be won?

The Utes coming up Roses, the Trojans settling for Cotton,
Better that than Stanford, on the verge of forgotten.
Shaw is gone and so is Edwards, and even Karl Dorrell,
Neon Deion’s in the house, ringing the Buffaloes’ bell.

Early signing day brought tidings, for those not in sun,
For Kenny Dillingham and ASU, recruiting wasn’t much fun.
Nor was it in Tucson, fun for Fisch and Co.,
Especially watching Dorian Singer pack up his things and go,

Like the Trojans need another target, the rich getting richer,
It’s like Piazza and Munson behind the plate for Caleb Williams the pitcher.
USC felt satisfied, but perhaps a bit underwhelmed,
Perhaps we expected too much with Lincoln Riley at the helm.

Meanwhile across town expectations could not have been smaller,
Then Chip Kelly pulled Dante Moore and UCLA fans screamed and hollered,
Will that keep all the Bruin backers from lighting torches for another year?
Or must Kelly win 10 games lest he have 19 fans to fear?

In Salt Lake they celebrated and in Boulder they crowed,
The league’s oldest and newest coaches landing blow after blow,
The Utes had their best day ever yet it barely compared,
To the two new Buffaloes that Coach Prime snared.

The Apple Cup runneth over in Washington, for the Huskies if not Wazzu,
With a full season under DeBoer, UDub got talent up the wazoo,
Sure that rhyme was cheap, rhyming Wazzu and wazoo together,
But you have to admit it’s funny, and maybe even a little clever.

OK lets get back to football, and we’ll stick to incoming recruits,
Even if it may take a bit longer for the players to finally bear their fruits,
Speaking of food how ’bout Duck á l’orange, because Dan Lanning was on fire,
Even if the day after signing day left a big to be desired.

Peyton Bowen flipped to Okie town, almost a jewel of the Ducks big day,
Luckily for Lanning, though, Bo Nix already decided to stay.
And speaking of staying, Penix is back in Seattle and maybe even in Rising, too
With Caleb Williams also returning, will 2023 even better than ’22?

But that’s all recruiting, who is coming and going, nothing of the game itself,
And speaking of games is that Lee Corso I see or is it just elf on the shelf?
Speaking of Lee, we hope he gets well, one of the legends of the game,
Because when it comes to college football, there are few more important names.

That being said, we have another wish that we are hoping for most,
Even if it comes from Scrooge or even Scrooge’s ghost.
So finally once and for all: Can the Pac-12 have a playoff berth?
That’s all we want, save one thing: Merry Christmas to all, and to all some good merth.