It may seem like Pac-12 coaches have it all. Rich contracts. Sweet gigs. Enviable lives.

But each of them needs a little something special. After all, this conference hasn’t sniffed the College Football Playoff since 2016. That’s a long time in college football years.

I’ve got just the right thing in mind for each of them. Here’s a look at my Pac-12 stocking stuffers…

For Arizona’s Jedd Fisch: A new defensive playbook

The Wildcats had a huge improvement this season, but they’ll need to take a big step forward on the defensive side to get back to bowl eligibility. A 4-win gain in the standings in 2022 — from 1 win in 2021 to 5 wins this year — means big things ahead for Fisch and the Cats, even if their defense allowed 36.5 points per game, 126th in the nation this year.

Defensive coordinator Johnny Nansen is not totally to blame for what went wrong for the Cats, as they experienced almost a complete recruiting collapse under former head coach Kevin Sumlin. But it is clear Arizona could use a change in scheme, if only that would fit inside a stocking.

For Arizona State’s Kenny Dillingham: A Phoenix-area map

Not that Dillingham needs the lay of the land, but the Phoenix native pledged to put a fence around the Tempe area after being snatched away from Oregon to be head coach. A former assistant coach in the Scottsdale area, Dilly has a chance to make his mark over time, even if initial recruiting class leaves a bit to be desired.

Before he views to take over Texas or California, Dillingham needs to double down on local recruiting, and he’ll need this beautiful map to do it.

For Cal’s Justin Wilcox: A life preserver

This Onyx MoveVent Dynamic Life Vest will be the perfect gift for Wilcox, whose Bears program is gasping for breath.

Cal fell to 4-8 this year, its worst season since going 1-11 in Sonny Dykes’ first year in 2013. Worse, the Bears just watched their starting quarterback of the future, Kai Millner, and Cal struggled to replace him — or anyone else — in arguably the league’s worst recruiting class.

Wilcox signed a contract extension that should make him feel safe…until Cal wins 4 games against next year.

For Colorado’s Deion Sanders: A warm coat

Going from Jackson, Miss., to Boulder, Colo., will be a shock to Sanders’ system.

Just like Sanders is going to shock the Pac-12. We’ve never seen a head coach like Sanders in this league; heck, college football hasn’t really seen anyone like Coach Prime before. There have been hundreds if not thousands of successful football players who later became coaches, but few with a personality, a persona and a profile like that of Neon Deion.

It’s clear he’s ready to light the league on fire. Unless the cold gets to him first.

For Oregon’s Dan Lanning: A box of El Septimo’s

Now that we know Lanning is a man of fine taste, how about a box of El Septimo Salvador Dali’s? Smooth, rich and formidable, just like Lanning.

The Oregon coach is going to need a walk-in humidor to fill if he’s going to keep landing 5-star recruits up in Eugene. Though the Ducks lost out on stud safety Peyton Bowen — who flipped to Oregon from Notre Dame on Wednesday but did not sign on the dotted line, allowing him to end up at Oklahoma on Thursday — early signing day was an unmitigated success.

Lanning looked to retool his defense with this class and that he did, adding hand-picked talent who fits better within the scheme that he perfected during Georgia’s national championship season last year. Oregon was susceptible at the worst times down the stretch, and even 5-star talents like Noah Sewell and Justin Flowe did not thrive in Lanning’s system. Getting his own guys in and coaching them up from Day 1 is going to be the key for the young coach.

Of course, that all starts on signing day, so Lanning better stock up on some nice sticks.

For Oregon State’s Jonathan Smith: A conductor’s hat

The Beavers train just keeps on moving, so what more for the man who is leading the charge than a striking new conductor’s hat? Oregon State improved from 7 wins a year ago to 10 wins this year, and that’s not even the Beavers most impressive leap in recent years. Lest we forget: OSU won just 2 games in 2018, Smith’s first season at the helm.

It’s clear the former Oregon State star quarterback knows Corvallis, the local recruiting scene, the pulse of the town, everything. The Beavers are in position to be a force for the next half-decade if they can keep Smith around, which they should.

For Stanford’s Troy Taylor: A healthy Emmitt Smith, Jr.

It may be beating a dead horse, but the Cardinal running game has been grounded for years. We knew that heading into the season, and although Stanford was marginally better this year, improving from an abysmal 87.3 yards per game in 2021 to 107.3 in 2022, the Cardinal were nowhere near the halcyon days of the mid-2010s, when the offensive line smashed opposing defenses into a pulp.

Losing Smith to an early season-ending injury didn’t help. We saw what he could do on the very first play of the season, when he housed it from 87 yards out.

He’d finish with 118 yards against Colgate that day, then rush for 88 yards on 19 carries a week later against USC, and that was it for his 2022 campaign.

Here’s hoping he’s able to bounce back for a productive and healthy 2023.

For UCLA’s Chip Kelly: A candy cane

Kelly doesn’t need much else, not after completing arguably the most significant early signing period flip in the country.

He didn’t just pull UCLA’s first 5-star quarterback recruit since Josh Rosen, he plucked Dante Moore right from the grips of Oregon’s Dan Lanning. Lanning ended up pretty happy on signing day, but the Bruins coach might have been happier. He’s been much-maligned about his recruiting…until this year.

If Kelly can turn to Moore early like he did Dorian Thompson-Robinson, he may have found his quarterback for the next 3 years.

For USC’s Lincoln Riley: Bubble-wrap for Caleb Williams

Is there a more important player returning to college football next year than Williams? Lincoln Riley only needs one thing this year: Some Duck Brand bubble wrap that will keep Williams nice and healthy.

The USC quarterback will look to become the first repeat Heisman winner since Archie Griffin and just the second ever. His availability will be of the utmost importance to Riley and a Trojans fan base that is aching to get back into the national picture. We saw just how precarious things could get when Williams suffered both a hamstring injury and a finger injury in the Pac-12 title game, which cost USC a chance at its first College Football Playoff berth.

It’s almost unbelievable to think we’ve gone this long without the Trojans — or the Pac-12 — in the playoff, but Williams’ return makes it CFP-or-bust around Heritage Hall in 2023.

For Utah’s Kyle Whittingham: A nice sweater

What else can you get the man who has everything?

Two straight Pac-12 titles. Two straight Rose Bowl berths. The best recruiting class in program history. Things are rolling in Salt Lake City and the majority of the credit goes to Whittingham, the second longest-tenured coach in college football.

Plus, Coach Whit just seems like a sweater guy. Here’s a nice one.

For Washington’s Kalen DeBoer: A welcome mat

If DeBoer is going to put down roots in Seattle — like Huskies fans pray he does — he is going to need a friendly message for his front porch.

Washington is clearly going to want the first 1st-year 10-game winner in program history to stick around for a while. Forget a welcome mat, maybe the Huskies ought to roll out the red carpet.

At least for Michael Penix, Jr., that is. Along with Bo Nix and Caleb Williams, Penix gives the Pac-12 the best trio of returning quarterbacks in the country.

For Washington State’s Jake Dickert: A bomb shelter

… And because of those quarterbacks, Dickert and other Pac-12 coaches are going to need some protection from the best aerial assaults in the country. Perhaps Dickert could use a Rising S bomb shelter, which bills itself by saying, “We don’t sell fear. We sell preparedness.”

Effecting marketing, but I’m still a little frightened if I’m Dickert: The Cougars allowed 272.0 passing yards per game last year, joining a half-dozen other Pac-12 teams ranked 100th or worst in the country in pass defense.